Reissue, repackage, repackage.

You guys… revision is hard.

I have finished what I’m calling the fourth draft of my first novel (the one tentatively titled the sea between us).  I’ve set the second (still unfinished) novel aside for a while while I concentrate on getting #1 up to scratch.  It’s daunting work.  I can write a novel any old day, but to take what I’ve written and refine it?  So. Hard.

I struggle with keeping myself motivated, and I find that I can stay on track only if I promise friends it will be finished by a certain date, so that they can read it.  Most of my friends are readers, not writers, though a couple are trudging through first and second novels themselves.  My friends’ response, for the most part, has been very favorable, and the feedback is incredibly helpful.  I think I’ve come a long way from the first draft, and it shouldn’t be that much longer before I feel good enough about the book to call it finished.

But before then, I have feedback to consider as I make more revisions:

The pros:

• Generally, people like the story.  To me, this is the best thing ever.
• I’ve created believable, likable characters.
• My protagonist is strong, and people want to be on her side.  Readers are pulling for her.
• The setting is concrete and defined (only one friend disagreed with this).
• Apparently, I write good dialogue.
• People seem to enjoy the band scenes and the individual band members.

The cons:

• I’m still holding back – this is a major hurdle for me as a writer.  I keep the reins tight and won’t let go.
• There is not enough conflict in long stretches of the story, especially in the second half of the novel.
• While believable, the characters are also too nice, and maybe I am too easy on them.  I should make them suffer a little.
• There are parts where I’m “telling,” not “showing,” particularly in the second half of the novel.
• There might not have been enough buildup to the conflict at the end.
• The relationship between my main characters might not be entirely believable as a teenage relationship – it is too cookie-cutter perfect.
• The best friend character could be expanded upon.
• The protagonist may need to change even more over the course of the book.

So, what’s next for my book?  Definitely more revision.  It’s time to make some really difficult decisions about plot.  Do I make some major changes to make the story more dynamic?  Do I adjust the timeline of what happens in the story?  Do I focus more on certain plot points and less on others?  Do I make some big cuts?  I have so much emotionally invested in this story that making these decisions will probably be a little heartbreaking.  But I owe it to my characters to make the best story for them.

Over Christmas, I found my high school journal in my childhood bedroom.  It is beyond hilarious.  Every entry is either an over-the-top melodramatic poem or an over-the-top melodramatic journal entry about how I hate a) my life; b) my friends; c) my parents; d) my hometown; e) all of the above (Mom, Dad, and my friends: if you’re reading this, I was never actually serious about hating any of you.  I was very serious about being – or appearing to be – an emotional trainwreck.).  I think I need to sit down and read that thing cover-to-cover, and when I’m done laughing hysterically at myself, I should channel some of that hardcore teenage angst into my cute little teenage love story.

Maybe that will help me get from here to where I want to be:  FINISHED.

So this is the new year…

I feel as though I’m probably used that Death Cab for Cutie lyric on a New Year’s-esque post before. But alas, it’s all I’ve got in the arsenal.

In addition to my usual resolutions, which always include something that will make me skinnier and my house cleaner, I’ve decided to include a few cultural resolutions as well. To wit:

• I resolve to be a writer. This resolution includes: thinking of myself as a writer, actually writing, and – above all else – trying to get a novel published.
• I resolve to see more plays.  This theater season, we will absolutely see all of the offerings of three local theaters.  That’s just with subscriptions and stuff.  I resolve to get out more and see plays in moretheaters.  I want to go to Uptown Players, Undermain, Second Thought… you get the picture.  Theater friends, make sure I come see your shows!
• I resolve to be a better music fan. I will listen to all of the albums we purchase this year at least once (that didn’t happen last year), and I’m going to see more concerts.  Come on, you know the kids want thirty-somethings hanging around their rock shows.
• I resolve to read more books.  Can’t believe I have to put this on the list.  I’ve always read more than almostanyone else I know.  But I’ve slacked off, and my library is full of books I haven’t read yet.  So I shall read them!
• I resolve to not forget this blog! I shouldn’t have to explain this one.

And if I’m not doing these things, I give you the right to call me on it.  I’m going to kill two birds with one stone later this week by posting a long Great American Young Adult Novel update here.

Reader(s), tell me your resolutions!

Merry Christmas to all

I’m on the farm in Arkansas for Christmas.  It started snowing last night, and we woke up to a couple of inches this morning.  I love a white Christmas.

Santa was good this year!  I got a book of Samuel Beckett’s letters for Christmas, which will probably take a while to get through (882 pages!).  So I’ll probably read the new Sarah Dessen novel first…. while listening to the Lucksmiths CD, wearing my new watch and necklace, as I download something using my iTunes gift card, sporting a couple new sweaters with my new shirt underneath, and waiting for my gift cards to burn a hole in my new purse.  And etc.

Merry Christmas!

Top Ten Albums of 2009

Another year, another list.  Ladies and gentlemen, here it is:

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10. Still Night, Still Light - Au Revoire Simone

A great album of dreamy pop music.

Favorite songs: “Anywhere You Looked,” “Another Likely Story”

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9.  It’s Blitz - Yeah Yeah Yeahs

This YYYs album grabbed me like none of their others did, which is almost of the theme of this year’s top ten.  I know most people love them for the uptempo, dancey stuff, but I love the atmospheric slow songs the best.

Favorite songs: “Hysteric,” “Runaway,” “Zero”

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8.  Middle Cyclone - Neko Case

So “This Tornado Loves You” would be enough to get this album on the list, but I’m glad there are so many other songs on here that I love.

Favorite songs: “This Tornado Loves You,” “Prison Girls,” “Vengeance is Sleeping”

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7.  Years of Refusal - Morrissey

It’s no surprise that Morrissey shows up on this list, because he’s just been so good lately.  Middle age definitely suits him.

“It’s Not Your Birthday Anymore,” “Black Cloud,” “I’m OK by Myself”

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6 .  Dark Days/Light Years – Super Furry Animals

SFA returned to form this year, even though there were still a couple of clunkers on this album (and yet another awful album cover).  They outdid themselves on the happy-sounding songs this time.  Favorite songs: “Inaugural Trams,” “Where Do You Wanna Go,” “Lliwar Llachar,” “Helium Hearts”

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5.  Fantasies – Metric

For me, this is the best Metric album to date.  I often have a hard time relating to their songs, but I didn’t have any trouble with this one at all.  On the contrary, it didn’t leave my car’s CD player for weeks.
Favorite songs: “Satellite Mind,” “Help, I’m Alive,” “Collect Call”

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4.  My Maudlin Career – Camera Obscura

The more albums they release, the more I like Camera Obscura.  I think they’re really hitting their stride with this fantastic album, all wrapped up in happiness, sadness, melancholy… all of my favorite feelings.

Favorite songs: “James,” “My Maudlin Career,” “French Navy,” “Honey in the Sun”

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3.  The Pains of Being Pure at Heart - The Pains of Being Pure at Heart

Oh man, what a fun album.  Makes you want to not be thirty-two years old, that’s for sure.  It easily captures the essence and self-importance of youth.

Favorite songs: “Young Adult Friction,” “A Teenager in Love,” “This Love is Fucking Right,” “Contender”

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2.  Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix - Phoenix

This is probably one of the most perfect pop albums ever made.  Nearly every song could be a single, and if there was any justice in this world, these songs would be blowing up the radio.

Favorite songs: “Countdown,” “Girlfriend,” “Lisztomania,” “Fences,” “Rome”

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1.  Hospice – The Antlers

Who would have thought a concept album about terminal illness would be my number one album this year?  In fact, for half a year I thought nothing could knock Phoenix from my number one slot.  But this sad, strange little album, with its cancer, hospitals, death, and utter heartbreak slipped in almost effortlessly to the top of the list.  Clearly one of the most beautiful albums of the decade.

Favorite songs: “Two,” “Atrophy,” “Sylvia,” “Wake,” “Bear,” “Shiva”

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On the cusp:

Get Guilty – AC Newman

God Help the Girl – God Help the Girl

Further Complications – Jarvis Cocker

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Radio Singles:

1.  “Bad Romance” – Lady Gaga (this also wins best video, hands down)

2.  “You Belong With Me” - Taylor Swift

3.  “Paparazzi” – Lady Gaga

Plus these great songs:

“Wrong” – Depeche Mode (and probably the #2 video, too!)

“Fire Burning” – Sean Kingston

“Down” – Jay Sean

“Knock You Down” – Keri Hilson

“Already Gone” – Kelly Clarkson

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Best trend:

Bands I love or have loved in the past putting out good albums again.  For example:

- U2 No Line on the Horizon (sucks way less than their previous two efforts)

- Super Furry Animals Dark Days/Light Years

- Depeche Mode sounds of the universe

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And there you have it. What was your top music of 2009? Leave it in the comments. If you give me a link to your list, I’ll add it to this post. Thanks for playing!

Remember, remember, the first of November…

It’s National Novel Writing Month!  Yesterday, on November first, I started writing the sequel to the young adult novel last year.  So far, I have 5,021 words.  I need 50,000 by November 30.  So, I’m a little bit ahead right now, which is great because I know that there will be days that I can’t or don’t feel like writing, because my schedule is really full this month already.  For example, I’ve got class this week on Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights, and I have to work on Tuesday nght.  I’m going to try waking up earlier so that I can get some writing done in the mornings.

Not to jinx myself or anything, but this book is, so far, easier to write than the first one.  Probably because I already know most of the characters really well.  It’s also going to be a different type of books.  While the first was a coming-of-age tale with a lot of romance thrown in, this one is definitely more angsty.  Everyone will be at odds with one another at some point.  It’s senior year of high school, when you make many of the toughest decisions you’ve had to make in your short life.  Where will you go to college?  Stay together or break up?  That sort of thing.  I’m really looking forward to writing all of that.  I think it’s going to be terrific fun!

So if I’m grouchy this month, it’s probably because I’m not sleeping much, and I’m spending my time in the heads of angry teenagers who are determined to get their way at all costs.  And because I am not getting to write as many makeout scenes.  Actually, that is kind of a relief.

And now for something completely different…

As promised, a cute picture of my dog. This is Murphy in his new sweater.

I think these colors suit him, don't you?

In which the writer gets all introspective.

Well, we workshopped my poetry in class on Thursday.  I was incredibly busy at work all day, even working a little late into the evening, so I didn’t have time to get nervous until I actually walked into class.  Then it definitely hit me – we were going to be critiquing my work.  I could see that people had written lots of notes on their copies of my poems.  One of the things we’re supposed to do is write notes as we’re reading before class, and then, after workshop is over, hand them to the author.  That way, the author gets to read a lot of first impressions, questions, comments, etc. about their work.

Only one guy and I were reading.  After an abortive game of rock-paper-scissors, we decided that I would go first.  Our teacher suggested that, before we began the discussion, I should read one of my poems.  I asked for requests, and it was almost unanimous that I should read “Paris, je t’aime.”  Of course they would pick the one with all of the French words I’d have to pronounce.  I tried to read slowly but with vigor, and the actress side of me made it a little bit of a performance.  Of course.

Anyway, we launched into discussion about that poem, and then we talked about several others.  Late into the discussion, I also read “Freshman Year, University of Arkansas, 1995 – 1996.”  The general consensus seems to have been:

• The poems weren’t terrible (hey, surprise!)
• I have a knack for narrative
• I could use more imagery in my writing, and perhaps should try some metaphor exercises
• “Paris, je t’aime” was funny, and I should try writing more comedy
• The poems that were lists of things were strong and kept me away from focusing so strongly on narrative
• I should use what I’ve learned about poetry and apply it to my prose

One classmate asked whether I had written a play (my answer: “I’ve taken playwriting.  Those are two very different things!”) and suggested I should definitely give it a try.  A few others like the specific details of “Freshman Year…” and thought I should get more detailed in description in other works.  The criticism was very constructive and gave me a lot to think about.  No one ever got nasty or hurtful in their comments, and that was such a relief to me.

Overall, I think the workshop experience was extremely helpful.  I was genuinely surprised at the positive response to my poetry.  I’m not being modest here; I figured it was decent but not very good, and a lot of these people have been writing poetry for a long time.  When I got home, I poured over the comments that people had made on their paper copies.  Some were a little more direct on paper than face-to-face, which is understandable.  Still, having that record of people’s impressions will be incredibly valuable when I revisit these poems or write new ones.  And yes, I think I’ll continue to write poetry from time to time, so that I can become more comfortable with making my writing more lyrical.

After we finished with my poems, we went on to the other guy reading that night.  His poetry is almost the polar opposite of what I’d written, like comparing a three-minute pop song (me) with free jazz (him).  It felt good to be able to relax since the pressure was off of me, and I was able to contribute somewhat coherently to the discussion of his pieces.

We saved the last thirty or so minutes of the class to introduce topics about fiction, which is what we will start covering next class.  Simply listening to the topics that we’re going to cover got me thinking about the novel I’ve already finished(ish) and the one I’m going to start next Sunday (eek!).  While I’ve always thought of myself as smart and well-read, someone who reads and understands everything from literary classics to supermarket trash, I realized in class how little I actually knew or remembered about the fundamentals and history of what is supposed to be my writing focus.  And yes, I realize that’s why I’m in this class, and, on a much larger scale, why I’m doing CAMP.  I just really wish I’d done this whole learning-how-to-write thing sooner, because now I feel like I have a lot to catch up on.

Despite how daunting all of this seems, I’m very excited for us to start working on fiction, and I have a couple of shorter, fiction-only classes coming up really soon that will help supplement what I’m learning in my Intro to CW class.

So, where does this leave me in terms of my own writing?  Frankly, I’m now a little intimidated about the whole thing.  The main takeaway from workshop – for me and my neuroses, anyway – is that I need to inject more poetry into my prose.  It makes sense.  I’m so worried about my writing sounding like I’m sitting around with a thesaurus and a copy of Pride and Prejudice or whatever.  It’s a freaking teen novel, for crying out loud.  But that doesn’t mean the writing can’t be evocative, right?  So I’ve started going through it and throwing in a few well-placed metaphors and focusing on description.  And it’s true – for the most part, my writing lacks those things.  I am hoping to find a good balance of pretty language without veering into overblown prose.

I think another takeaway is that maybe I need to be more confident about my abilities.  It’s so tough for me to feel like I’m good at something creative (which, I realize, is patently ridiculous; I’ve been a creative person my entire life).  It’s not like being good at math, or handling customers, or whatever.  That’s normal and accepted.  But admitting that you’re good at something creative, like singing, acting, or writing, can quickly veer into pretension.  I mean, it’s kind weird to say “oh, I’m working on my novel,” or “I’m a writer” or whatever, because I don’t want to sound like an asshole.  I mean, I still have a regular job and everything.  Plus, it’s not like I’ve ever been published.  I have no proof that anything I’ve written is any good… except maybe some of the poems I just workshopped.   Because I don’t think my classmates were lying when they said they enjoyed them.   And, well, two friends told me they liked drafts of my novel, so that definitely has to count for something.

So I’m going to try to do better about feeling like I’m good at what I do.

And friends, thanks for sticking through all of this focus on writing.  I promise music reviews or fart jokes or pictures of my dog soon.

Hail, Poetry, thou heav’n born maid!

So, in my writing class, we’ve been focusing on poetry.  We’re about to move on to another subject, so this week we have planned a workshop, where five class members would submit five poems to be read and discussed.  Another workshop, focusing on fiction and creative nonfiction, will be held later in the semester.

As my focus is on fiction, I did not initially sign up for the poetry workshop.  Our teacher’s idea was for roughly half of the class to participate in the poetry workshop, and the other half would do the fiction/CNF workshop.  Well, not enough people signed up for this week.  So, this morning, I decided I would participate, so that we have enough poems discuss.

I had already written one poem for a class exercise a couple of weeks ago.  I think it is the first poem I’d written since my vitriol-spewing high school days.  That left four poems to write tonight.  It took about three hours to finish them.  I then converted the file to a PDF and sent it to my group.  It took a lot of courage to send that email, because I’m not a poet.  These poems are really rough, and there are probably typos, and I didn’t even get a chance to have someone proofread them.  There are people in the class who have been writing poetry a long time and who are specializing in it!  Eek!

Anyway, I figured I’d just post them here, too, for the hell of it.

For some frame of reference, here is the title of each poem and the exercise I used as a writing prompt:

1. “‘Criteria,’ for the first time” – this is an enjambment exercise, taken from a couple of paragraphs of the novel I’m writing (I needed to get my fiction in the workshop somehow!)
2. “Punctuation” – this is the poem using examples of synesthesia.
3. “Storage” – a poem inspired by a list of things belonging to a dead person.
4. “Paris, je t’aime” – my stab at a poem using phrases from English and another language.
5. “Freshman Year, University of Arkansas, 1995 – 1996″ – this is my take on a poem where every line begins with “I remember.”

So, without further ado, here are five poems that will totally blow your mind.

P.S. Please don’t steal them.  Write your own silly poems.  Plagiarism is bad.  End of lecture.

I’ll settle down with some old story…

This page needed a lot of help!

I’m knee-deep in what I’m calling the third draft of my young adult novel (which is tentatively titled the sea between us).  I’m planning to finish this draft by mid-to-late October and send it out to a few select friends for feedback.

My previous attempts at editing were always done on the computer, but I found that I was ignoring some parts of the book and only focusing on favorite passages.  So I printed out the entire thing and I’m taking it one page at a time, writing all of my changes in pen, and then going back and updating in Word.  I’ve had to add a lot, because one of my main (constructive) criticisms during the editing process has been “elaborate here!”  Anyway, I’m just over halfway done with this process, and it’s starting to go faster because the second half of the book is a bit stronger than the first.  The second half has also been more heavily edited.

A couple of months ago, I decided I needed a better, more permanent place to write, so I commandeered the old IKEA couch in the sunroom as a writing station.  I moved a small bookshelf to one side of the couch, and I keep my paper copy of the second draft in it, along with all of my handouts from the creative writing class I’m taking.  I’ve also got a copy of The Elements of Style there, because you should never be more than three feet away from one of those, in my humble opinion.

On top of the bookshelf are three funky orange statues of Ganesha that I got in India.  I just thought they looked nice there, but I recently did a little wikipedia-ing and discovered Ganesha is considered to be the Lord of letters and learning. So I guess that’s a happy coincidence.  I also have a coaster on top of the bookshelf, because I almost always write with a hot beverage (it’s usually a cup of Barry’s tea, but sometimes it’s chai, or hot chocolate, or something stronger).  Since it’s getting colder, I’ve recently added a cinnamon candle, my go-to fall and winter scent.

I am almost always joined on the writing couch by my dog Murphy.  He likes to sit right next to me, preferably resting his head on my ankle if possible.  I usually have the computer in my lap; if not, he tries to sit there instead.  It is really hard to write with a 14-pound licking machine sitting on you.  Because he is my writing buddy, I included him in the book by naming the main male character Eoghan Murphy.

Music definitely helps me focus, so I like to write with headphones on.  Sometimes, I just put on last.fm and play my library, my recommendations, or a specific artist’s station.  Sometimes I use iTunes on the laptop, which has everything we’ve purchased in the last year or so (the rest of our music collection is still on our sick, hibernating desktop computer).  Occasionally I’ll use my iPod, but that hasn’t been updated in over a year (see above reference to sick, hibernating desktop).

I actually made a mix CD for a friend that was taken directly from the book (his review here, which also includes a short synopsis and excerpts from the un-edited, very rough first draft of the novel).  If I were to make an extensive playlist inspired by the sea between us, these artists would definitely be included:

Antlers, The Arcade Fire, Band of Horses, Belle and Sebastian, Bright Eyes, Camera Obscura, Coldplay, David Bowie, Destroyer, The Divine Comedy, Grand Archives, Great Lake Swimmers, Hefner, Jens Lekman, Sondre Lerche, The Lucksmiths, Mates of State, Morrissey,  My Chemical Romance, The Pains of Being Pure at Heart, Phoenix, Ra Ra Riot,  REM, The Shins, The Smiths,  Super Furry Animals,  Tindersticks, Trembling Blue Stars, The Twilight Sad, We Were Promised Jetpacks… and many more.

As you can see, it leans heavily toward indie rock with some good ol’ fashioned teenage angst thrown in there.  Not only is this my favorite sort of music, but it also figures heavily in the story.  Many of these artists or their songs are actually mentioned by my narrator Emma and her friends, and I got inspiration for the songs Emma’s band writes from these bands (I’m no songwriter).

It’s been fun writing a book that includes so much of my passion for music.  It will be a challenge when I stop writing about these characters and start something new and different.  I don’t really want to pigeonhole myself as the girl who always includes a ton of music references in her books, but it’s gonna be hard to leave them out.

If any of you out there are writers or are involved in some other creative thing, I’d like to hear about your process.  Where do you write/create/whatever?  What inspires you?  How do you keep from procrastinating?

Homemade Fall Weekend.

urban street bazaar logo

If you’re in Dallas this weekend, I would like to suggest checking out the Urban Street Bazaar in the Bishop Arts District in Oak Cliff.  It’s a handmade extravaganza with over 85 local vendors.  I’ve gone the last two years, and both times I’ve picked up Christmas presents and some jewelry for myself.  This year, vendors are displaying lots of handmade purses, clothing, soap, jewelry, and decorative stuff for your house/apartment/loft/friend’s couch.  It’s also a great place for people watching (aka playing Cliffie or Not Cliffie?). Come out and support your local artisans!

If you want to make a day of it, then there’s always the Fall Home Tour hosted by the Old Oak Cliff Conservation League this weekend.  We’re doing that tomorrow.  Oak Cliff isn’t just for gang bangers, you know.